The First Post

This is the very first post on our adoption blog. I have never blogged before and rarely keep a journal, but I got inspired to start a blog by a new adoptive mom I've been getting to know. I hope this will be a great way for people to keep up to date on our adoption journey. I thought I'd start by answering some frequently asked questions. So here goes...

Q: Where are you in the process (How's that adoption thing coming along?)

A: We are currently waiting to be certified. Yes, adopting a child requires certification by the state of Arizona. This was something I never knew before we began this journey. Different agencies handle the certification process differently, but in our case, we followed the protocol associated with adopting from the state foster care system. We completed a twelve week parenting course, filled out a mountain of paperwork, got our doctor to sign off on our health and medical history, acquired fingerprint clearance cards, and completed a homestudy (detailed interviews with a representative from our agency.) The paperwork was submitted to the state on December 23rd, and I'm told that it takes 3-6 weeks for the state to review it and put their stamp of approval on our application. So we wait...

Q: Then what? Then you get a kid?

A: No, once we are certified, we go into a database called the Central Adoption Registry. When a child becomes available for adoption, the child's caseworker goes to the registry and requests all the files of families that could be a match for this particular child. This is based on what the families said they would be willing to consider: age, gender, race, medical issues, behavioral issues, etc. There was a giant checklist of things we had to assign a yes, no, or maybe... ranging from allergies to more serious medical conditions and a whole range of behavioral issues.

So the caseworker gets all these files... maybe 30 or 40. Then she reads them all and selects her top 5 or 6. Then she organizes a meeting which they call a Red File Staffing. (Remember this for the future!) The RFS is attended by the child's caseworker and others who know the child- foster parents, guardian ad litem, etc. If we are selected, our agency representative, Andrea, would attend the meeting, along with a representative for each of the other families. They take turns presenting (selling?) the families they represent and then everyone makes a collective decision as to which family will be the best fit for this child. If we are selected, Andrea will call us to deliver the great news. Then it will be up to us to do our homework and learn as much as possible about this child (we don't get to meet them.) We can talk to their caseworker, foster parents, doctors, schoolteachers, etc. and then we make our decision... and then work with the foster family and the agency to develop a transition plan to move the child into our home. And then go on a major shopping spree to buy all the things the child will need! :)

Q: Are you getting an infant?

A: We have requested a child three years or younger. We also said that we would be willing to take two children if both are under five. We have a better chance of getting a placement more quickly if we are willing to take a sibling group- understandably, the state would prefer to keep siblings together.

Q: Why did you decide to adopt through the state?

A: Various reasons. These are children who really need a loving home- not that every child doesn't- but we have a lot of experience with children from at-risk environments and we think we will be good parents to a child in these circumstances. And as this is full disclosure time, I will admit that I want to avoid the heartbreak of being promised a child by an expectant mother, only to have her change her mind and decide to parent the child herself. This happens fairly regularly with domestic adoptions. Many of you may not know that I had a miscarriage in October 2007. I'm sorry you are learning about it through a blog, but it took me this long to be able to talk about it. This happened about a month before I lost my stepfather to brain cancer. The confluence of these two events was devastating. I think another loss would break me.

Q: How long will it take for you to be matched with a child?

A: There is absolutely no way to predict. The age range we are requesting is very desirable. It could take 2 months, or it could take 2 years. So we wait...

I will keep you posted... ha ha. Just a little bloggy humor.


PS- In other news, I completed my first marathon today! Yes, 26.2 miles... I am a bit stiff and sore and I have a blister on one toe, but thankfully, I sustained no serious injuries.