Does He Remember?

A few days ago, we were sitting in the back seat of a mini-van, my boy strapped into his car seat and me right next to him, when out of the blue, he asked me, "Who was my mommy when I was a baby?"

Exactly like that. Who was my mommy when I was a baby?

Now I came to the conclusion a while back that the best way to handle inquiries into tough or loaded topics is simply and honestly. Answer the question that was asked and don't feel compelled to deliver a dissertation on the topic. If a follow up question comes along, answer that one honestly and straightforwardly too. In this way, I navigated through a birds and the bees conversation a few months ago, one that resulted in my son believing that babies come from China. (See if you can figure out how he drew that conclusion...)

So when he asked me, "Who was my mommy when I was a baby?" I responded with the simplest answer I knew how to give: "Her name was Michelle." (birth mother's name changed for this re-telling of the story)

"Who is Michelle?" he asked me.

"She was your first mother," I responded.

Again: "Who is Michelle?"

"She was your first mommy," I repeated.

The third time he asked, I knew he wanted something more, but I didn't know what.

"Who is Michelle?"

So I changed it up. "She was a lady who had a baby and named him Valentino."

This seemed to satisfy him for a moment. Then he asked me, sweetly and innocently, "And then she went away and I cried?"

"I'm sure you did," I responded.

"And now I have a new mommy?"

"That's right, lovey," I said, as I bent over to kiss him.

He beamed at me and said, "I want some goldfish crackers."

It strikes me as a very thoughtful and direct question. Who was my mommy when I was a baby? It makes me wonder, does he remember his early life, and if so, how much?