I have been wondering if kids just naturally learn to say "I love you," because they understand what love means and feel the emotion themselves... or if parents have to teach their children to say it. I would be curious to hear others' experience on this.
Sometimes I prompt them to say "I love you" to other family members, and they willingly comply. Sometimes I'll ask them, "Do you love your Mommy? Do you love your Daddy?" and they say yes. But spontaneous expressions of love... they've been few and far between.
I think Valentino has said "I love you" to me (without prompting) two times since he moved in here. Once, it was completely out of the blue. I was actually rather shocked because I'd been having a tough day and wasn't displaying a lot of patience toward him. We were sitting in our porch swing on the patio outside and he just said, "I love you," spontaneously. The next time, I was picking up the kids from day care and I had brought a special treat for each of them, a small chocolate candy. I strapped them into their car seats, gave them their chocolate, and started up the car. Before I started backing up, I turned around and looked right at him and said, "I love you, Tino." He looked at me and through his mouthful of chocolate, replied, "I love you too."
Victoria is learning how to talk and her version of "I love you" sounds like "Wub ooh." Lately she has taken to reaching out for my hand while she is sitting in her high chair and then holds my hand against her face or her chest. Then last night, I rocked her a little bit before laying her down in her bed, and this time she reached for my hand and placed it on her face. She pressed my hand close with both her little hands and kissed my palm repeatedly. Tears came to my eyes. I whispered to her, "I love you, Victoria, I love you so much." And she whispered back, "Wub ooh."
I don't know if they really know what love means, or if they are just repeating what I say to them, but I take this as a good sign!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I would say it is learned and by that I mean observed and felt and conditioned over time. I think children observe their parents actions and feelings more than their words. When they hear "I love you" does it make them feel special, loved, cherished. Is someone looking into their eyes and smiling? Do they feel the love in that moment. I would say let them observe you saying it to each other, to the other people you love and to them. They will hear it reciprocated and see how happy it makes people feel and act and will want in on it. xoxo I LOVE YOU! - MFB
ReplyDelete