It Gets Easier

A year ago, I wouldn't have believed you if you said this to me.  But lots and lots of people did.  And all I could think was, "How can it possibly get easier?  I will be getting older and they will be getting stronger and more energetic!"  But just recently, it dawned on me.

Everyone was right.

It does get easier.

As the V's are growing up and becoming more and more independent, they don't need my constant attention to meet their physical and emotional needs.  At least, not as much as they have in the past.

Exhibit A:

A few weeks ago, I took Tino to a public restroom.  He walked into the stall, closed and locked the door, and informed me, "I'm locking you out.  I know how to wipe my own penis."  I stood in the bathroom and fixed my hair while he peed, flushed the toilet, and washed and dried his own hands.  Now some might take for granted the simple joy of simply being able to stand around while another person uses the restroom, but for me this was  a shining moment of triumph.  Yes, my son can wipe his own penis!  My heart swells with pride.

Exhibit B:

Household chores.  The kids LOVE "helping."  And in the past, their help has often been more of a hindrance than any kind of useful assistance.  But now they are able to perform simple tasks.  They fight over who gets the privilege of using the Dustbuster to vacuum up small messes.

They set the table.  Yesterday Victoria filled all the glasses to the brim and as she carried them one by one to the dinner table, she spilled a little bit of water on the floor.  So she went to the drawer where I keep the towels, picked a towel, and carefully mopped up her mess each time.  Interestingly, she didn't seem to learn any lessons about perhaps leaving a bit of room at the top of the glass.  After she cleaned up one mess, she filled the next glass equally full.  Now of course I could have done this task more efficiently, but it kept her occupied for about ten minutes and while she was doing that, I was able to complete other tasks.

Another truly mind-blowing event for me occurred after I walked in the door with four bags of groceries.  I set the groceries on the kitchen table and started to prepare dinner.  My plan was that as soon as I got dinner underway, I would unpack and put away the groceries.  But before I knew it, both my children were doing it for me!  Why did I not think of this before?  They know where everything belongs, they are strong enough to open the refrigerator door, and they use stools when they need to set something on a countertop.  And best of all, they didn't see it as a chore at all- for them, it was a special privilege!   

Exhibit C:

Playing together.  In the early days, I could never leave them alone, even for the short amount of time it would take to, say, use the bathroom.  For one thing, they had a lot of insecurity about being separated from me.  But more importantly, Victoria was pre-verbal and defenseless against her brother when he would pick on her.  Now, she can hold her own, and since she is able to talk and participate in the games Tino likes to play, he actually enjoys her company.  They play pretty nicely without supervision for about ten minutes, and then I hear screaming and one child or the other comes to tattle on the other.

"Tino took my toy, Mommy."

"Victoria said I'm a bad boy."

Tino put sand on my face."

"Victoria's not sharing, Mommy."

And then I say, "Well, that's not very nice.  We don't (fill in the blank) in this family."  Having validated the feelings of the injured party, I smile as the child trots off to go back and play again.  And the cycle repeats.

So... I am amazed.  And overjoyed.  My little V's are not babies anymore.  They are such a joy to me, and being a Mommy is not only getting more and more rewarding, but it's also getting easier!