Child-Proofing the House

We have our state home inspection for our foster license tomorrow, so we've spent a good chunk of the weekend child-proofing the house in order to comply with the state guidelines. Mainly this involves putting child locks on all the cabinets which contain chemicals, household cleaners, prescription drugs, etc.

This process has inspired quite a bit of ludicrous speculation about ingenious ways the hypothetical future child could get into trouble in the house... for example:

Me: We should definitely put locks on all the cabinets in the guest bath, since that will be the child's bathroom.

Dave: We could just move the cleaning supplies into another room.

Me: No, that would never work. Then when I want to clean the guest bath, I would have to carry the cleaning supplies from one room to another.

Dave: Well, we could put them in a higher cabinet, one that the child couldn't reach.

Me: No, what if the child climbed up on the counter and reached around to open the higher cabinet.

Dave: The child is going to be three years old or younger, how could they climb up on the counter?

Me: (changing directions) What if the child tries to climb on the counter and falls off, cracking his head on the tile floor?

Dave: (defeated) I guess we'll go ahead and put locks on the guest bathroom cabinet.

He's doing it even as I write this... What a wonderful man. He's going to be such a great dad.