Tara's Two-Toddler Weight Loss Program

Have you heard about this new weight loss program? It really works!!! Trust me, I know. I've lost 4.5 pounds in 4 days. This program is a three-pronged approach to weight loss.

1. Exercise:

Carry your two toddlers around a lot. Wear one in a sling attached to your chest regularly. This helps to strengthen your core muscles. Also, pick them up frequently. Works the quads. You will have built in reminders to perform these routines- someone will begin crying to let you know when to start the next set.

2. Reduce portion sizes:

When preparing meals, strap one toddler into the chair and give her some food to start with. This will keep her out of mischief for a short period of time. Meanwhile, begin preparing food for the other toddler. Make enough for yourself too. Once this food has been prepared, sit down with toddler #2 and quickly eat as many bites as possible before toddler #1 decides she is done eating and begins to throw her food on the floor. Take frequent breaks during the meal to clean spills, rush to the bathroom with toddler #2, teach your husband where things are located in the kitchen, and go back and forth to the kitchen to get essential items you forgot to bring the table, such as ketchup and a fork for yourself. After about 15 minutes of this, your food will be cold and unappetizing, one or both toddlers will be ready to move on to the next activity, and your meal will be over. You will have eaten about one third of it.

3. Appetite suppressants:

Change diapers every 1.5 to 2 hours. You will get some poop on your hands at some point and no matter how well you scrub your hands, you won't really feel like using them to handle food.

Think of how much time it will take you to go pick up a prescription, fold a load of laundry, or rake a few leaves in your yard. With this to-do list looming in front of you, eating will quickly move way down your priority list.

Keep up this pace consistently and you will be guaranteed results. Unfortunately, with your two toddlers in tow, you won't be able to go shopping at a nice store to buy clothing that flatters your slim new figure, nor will you have the time or energy to go out in public where people can see it. :)