Valentino: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy
Mommy: Yes, Valentino?
Valentino: I want milk.
Victoria: (screams)
Mommy: Victoria, what are you screaming about?
Victoria: (Points and screams)
Valentino: I want milk. I want milk. I want milk.
Daddy: I'm waiting for someone to ask nicely.
Mommy: So how was your day?
Daddy: Well, I bought a new table saw to replace the one that wore out.
Valentino: I want milk, PLEASE.( Daddy hands him the milk.)
Victoria: (screams)
Mommy: Do you want this, Victoria? How about this? Tell Mommy what you want. (Finally figures it out.) Oh, a paper towel? Dave, can you please hand her a paper towel? (Daddy hands a towel to Mommy, who hands it to Victoria.)
Victoria: (claps her hands in joy)
Mommy: Look how happy she is that I figured it out! Now, you were saying you bought a new table saw?
Daddy: Yes, it's called a Job Site saw and it...
Valentino: (shouting) I no like this food!
Mommy: Tino, that is very rude. Eat your food, please. It's called a Job Site saw?
Valentino: NOOOOOOO! I no like it!
Mommy: I'm sorry honey, but sometimes we have to eat food that we don't like
Valentino: (cries loudly)
Mommy: (speaking loudly to be heard) Your saw?
Daddy: (matching Mommy's volume) It's called a Job Site saw because...
Victoria: (screams, drowning out her Daddy)
Mommy: Victoria, what do you want?
Victoria: More.
Mommy: You want more lasagna?
Victoria: Nods
Mommy: (goes into kitchen to get more lasagna)
Daddy: It's a Job Site saw. It has...
Valentino: Mommy, I want salad.
Mommy: Okay, honey, you can have some salad in just a second. About that Job Site saw.
Valentino: I don't want black salad dressing. I no like that kind. I want white salad dressing.
Daddy: That's what you're going to get, buddy. White salad dressing.
Valentino: (ignoring Daddy's comment) Mommy, I want white salad dressing.
Mommy: So about your saw...
Valentino: I want cereal, Mommy.
Mommy: (goes into kitchen to get cereal, sees the chance to escape, and retreats to the office to check e-mail)
Valentino: (immediately switching focus) I want cereal, Daddy.
Daddy: (In the distant background) How do you ask nicely?
About half an hour later, as they were happily splashing about in the bathtub, I asked Dave, "Now what was it you were trying to tell me about your saw?"
He said, "It's called a Job Site saw because it has wheels, which makes it easier to transport to job sites."
"Oh," I said. "That sounds nice."
"It is," he agreed, exhausted from the effort.
It occurred to me that perhaps we should set up a small table in the bathroom and eat our dinner there while they play in the bathtub.
haha omg it feels good to relate...exactly
ReplyDelete