Not The News We Wanted

6:19 p.m.

Hello, my faithful readers. I know you all want to know what happened today so I will let you know that unfortunately, we were not chosen to be the family for Nyree and Isaiah. I am going to a class tonight (appropriately titled "Creating Happiness") and have to eat dinner, so I have no time to post more details right now. I will write more when I get back from my class (probably around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m.)

Thank you again for your love and support.

10:26 p.m.

What a day! I am totally exhausted. I woke up in a state of mild anxiety and remained that way until Andrea called me around 1:30. I carried my phone with me everywhere I went, even to the bathroom. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to handle it if it did ring while I was in a bathroom stall, but I sure didn't want to miss that call.

Andrea said that there were three families represented in the Red File and of the three, she felt the one that was selected was the least qualified. She seemed rather disgusted with the decision and kept saying, "I did not agree with their decision." Contrary to the normal procedures, the CPS caseworker did not allow Andrea or the other two agency representatives to contribute their opinions to the discussion. Instead, she and her supervisor made the decision without the input of the others. I asked her if it was because the other family had a stay at home mom, but she said that both parents were working. She really didn't understand why we weren't selected. She said that she thought for sure we would be picked.

After that, I had several meetings at work, so I managed to hold it together emotionally for the rest of the afternoon. My last meeting of the day was with a visiting senior executive of our company- we'll call him Lundberg, haha. Lundberg has never met me or worked with me before, but apparently thinks he knows everything there is to know about me, my skills, and my management style. So we spent about an hour and a half discussing how I'm doing everything all wrong. I can tell that I didn't make a very good impression on him, so I guess the feeling is mutual. I came out of that meeting feeling really, really small. I went into my boss's office and broke down in tears. She was very supportive, as she always is. Told me to go home and take care of myself.

I went to my Happiness seminar and because I was a few minutes late, there were only a few seats left in the very back. I chose a seat and very quickly realized that I was sitting next to the Happiest Woman in the Universe. I just couldn't take it, so I left after about 15 minutes. Sometimes when I'm miserable, I just don't want to be around all that joyfulness and lightness of being. So instead, I went and got a 90 minute massage. I fell asleep on the massage table.

Now I am at home and I am going to go spend some quality time with the man I love, who greeted me with flowers and a warm hug when I came home. Things to be thankful for...

Tomorrow is a new day... and I'll be getting the results of the Clomid Challenge test, so I'll have something to report on tomorrow evening. Stay tuned!

Hey, don't be strangers about posting a comment! It's so easy to do. Just look at the bottom of the post where it says "0 Comments" and click on that. A little box will open up where you can post your comment. Don't know what to say? Just say, "Thinking of you," and put your initials if you are shy. Let's see if we can set a new record for comments on this post- that would be 3 or more!