We went into the Paper Staffing (I know it's probably not supposed to be capitalized, but that's how these meetings seem in my mind... large, looming, full of importance) with a bit of trepidation and our fingers crossed that we wouldn't learn anything that would make us have to say no to these kids. Andrea, Dave and I went into the building together and made our way to a waiting room. I felt incredibly nervous. The foster family, S & P, showed up a few minutes later. We stood up and introduced ourselves to them. They speak mainly Spanish, so I could talk to them, but I had to translate for Dave. The first thing S asked me was, "How does your heart feel?" I put my hand on my heart and replied, "So emotional." And she put her hand on her heart and said, "Mine too."
We chatted for a few minutes and then the caseworker, Greg, showed up to take us all into the meeting room. Greg's supervisor was there, along with a translator for S and P. I was relieved that they weren't going to try to make me translate. While I am fluent in Spanish, it is one thing to have a conversation with one person and another thing altogether to listen in one language and speak in another, flipping back and forth every time a new person begins to speak.
As soon as Greg started talking, I felt instantly at ease. I could tell that he really wants what is best for V and V (V squared? Double V? The V's?) and that he really wanted us to say yes to them. He first went over some history of their birth family and living arrangements prior to coming to live with S and P.
We have decided that we won't be sharing details about V and V's birth parents and the reasons why they came into foster care. We feel this information is private and when they are old enough to understand, we will explain to them where they came from and their history, and then it will be up to them to choose whether or not, and to whom they wish to tell this story. Children are removed from their homes and brought into foster care because their parents have made some poor choices and are unable to provide a safe and loving home for their children. The specifics of V and V's circumstances are not relevant to the relationships they will have with our family and friends, and the most important thing to know is that Victoria and Valentino have suffered no lasting physical, mental, or psychological ill effects from their experiences. They are happy, healthy babies.
From there we went into a lengthy discussion about their personalities, likes and dislikes, eating and sleeping habits, clothing sizes, and so on. S and P's faces lit up when they were talking about the children. They clearly love them very, very much. The children know them as Abuelo and Abuela (Spanish for Grandma and Grandpa.) When they were telling stories about the children, they would look at each other and laugh, and I felt so full of joy. I was smiling so wide and I would tear up from time to time. Every now and then I would glance at Dave and he looked really emotional too. Some cute stories about the babies:
* When Valentino first came to live with S and P, he ate only Gerber baby food. They taught him to eat solid foods and after time, when they would offer him baby food, he would push it away and say, "That's Victoria's food!"
* Victoria is quite the little climber. S had both children in the crib while she was changing Valentino's diaper, and she had lowered the rail for easier access to him. While she had her attention on Valentino, Victoria pulled herself up and lifted her leg over the rail. She was getting ready to make her escape!
* Valentino sometimes cries in the morning when he first wakes up. S goes into his room, sits on his bed and rubs his back, and asks him, "Quieres a tu Abuela?" (Do you love your grandma?) and he says yes. Then she goes through a series, "Quieres a tu Abuelo? Quieres a Victoria?" and finally she tells him that she loves him too. This soothes him and he is now ready for the day. I found this especially touching because it reminded me of something my own mother used to do with me when I was a little girl before I would go to sleep. She would tell me, "Mommy loves Tara. Daddy loves Tara. Baby sister loves Tara. The bunny rabbit loves Tara. The prairie dogs..." and so on. There are so many things my mother did for me when I was little, that I am so looking forward to doing with my own babies.
Toward the end of the meeting they showed us pictures. Others have told me that the pictures would make me fall in love with the kids, but I think I was pretty much in love before they even got out the pictures. Mainly what I felt was relief when I saw them- relief that they looked normal, happy and healthy. We looked through their little album over and over. I wasn't sure whether they would let me take a photo home with me, or if it was even appropriate to ask, but earlier in the day, my boss had given me the excellent idea to take a picture of the pictures! So I finally mustered up the nerve to ask if I could do that. S and P said, "Of course!" so we used Dave's iPhone to photograph the pictures. I can't wait to share them with all of you. I am pretty sure that this is not allowed yet and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our situation.
I think S & P really liked us. They gave us their home phone number and we will make arrangements to see the children early next week, whenever it is convenient for them. I will be calling Greg this afternoon (after 3:30, of course) to let him know we want to move forward. Then I can contact S & P directly to make arrangements. The transition period will be a few weeks. It is important for the children to be comfortable with us before they move into our home. We'll visit them first in their home, with their Abuelos. Then we'll take them out for some visits to "neutral places," like the park. Then they will visit us in our home and progress to overnight visits. Because they are so young, Greg felt the transition could happen sooner rather than later. I am content to wait a few weeks- this gives me time to prepare and gather all the baby stuff we will need. Family members are already volunteering to donate furniture and other items, which will be very helpful. I think we will have a baby shower or two at some point. This is so exciting!
What a crazy and wonderful time this is. I am so very blessed. I thank the Universe, the powers that be, and all of our loved ones and supporters here on earth! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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