We Were Chosen!

I have had the title of this post in my head for quite some time now and I am so happy to be able to write it!

Yes, we were selected to become the parents of - not Ferdinand and Isabella, but...

Valentino and Victoria!

I am overjoyed and completely exhausted. I didn't know being happy could completely wear me out like this! Okay, maybe that had something to do with staying up until midnight and waking up periodically through the night.

The Red File was at 9:30. I was expecting the call around noon, given that these meetings typically last a few hours and then Andrea drives back to her office before calling me. So at 11:30, one of my sales associates, R, asked me if I wanted to go grab lunch. We often pick up lunch at AJs and bring it back to the office to eat. I was hesitant at first- what if Andrea calls while I am with R? This could be an emotional scene and could be embarrassing... But I decided that I needed to continue living my life, even though today was Red File Number 5. I warned R that I would need to take this call when it came in, and to be prepared for any range of emotion.

And sure enough, I had driven about a block from our office and the phone rang. It was Andrea. "That's her!" I said, totally flustered. "I need to pull over. What should I do?" There was nowhere to pull over so I just stopped in the middle of the street and said, "You drive!" and jumped out of the car. R rolled with it, and switched to the driver seat. I answered the phone, prepared for the moment of truth. Andrea said hello and asked me how I was doing. "Fine," I said, cautiously. "How are you?" She said, "Good," and something in her tone of voice told me that she wasn't calling to deliver bad news. I waited. Then she said, "Well... you were selected." I don't know how to describe the feelings that flooded me. R was sitting next to me and for a couple of seconds, she couldn't tell if the news was good or bad. Then she realized that it was all good and her face lit up too. We drove to AJs and she went in to buy our food (she knows what I like!) so I could have some privacy. Andrea filled me in on all the information she was able to furiously write down during the Red File and then she let me go so that I could call Dave.

From there, things become a blur. I called Dave and he was happy, but I can't remember what he said when I told him the news. I will have to ask him. Then I called my sister and then my mom. My sister was not surprised. I had spoken to her this morning before the Red File and she sounded very peaceful. She said that she believed it really would happen for us this time. So when she got the news, she was thrilled- but not surprised. My mom, on the other hand, was bracing herself for another disappointment. I called and the phone rang many times before she picked up. When she said hello, I responded with, "Hi, Grandma!" She was in total shock and kept repeating, "We got the babies? We got the babies!!! We really got the babies?"

I advised myself in the past to make sure and be very present when this moment finally occurred, because I wanted to savor the memories. But in the moment, I was so overwhelmed that it really is a blur. I've been talking to family and friends all day.

This is what I know so far about my children. They have been living with their foster parents for quite some time and the foster family loves them like their own children. They considered adopting them, but after careful thought and consideration, they decided they were not prepared to raise young children. They are older, and the children call them Grandma and Grandpa. They want to be involved in the children's lives on an ongoing basis. I'm relieved to know this. It's so much better for the children to maintain these connections.

The children are healthy. Victoria has no behavioral issues, but Valentino is in the infamous Terrible Twos and doesn't like to be told "no." He, on the other hand, has no problem saying no to anything he is asked to do. Valentino, pick up your toys now... NO! This doesn't worry me.

The next step is the Paper Staffing, which is going to happen this Friday. That is a meeting for us to learn about the children. Now that they have picked US to be the parents, it is our turn to decide if we feel THEY are a good fit for our family. We will meet with the caseworker, foster family, and others who know the children and can provide information. We really don't know very much about them at this point, so it is important that we be deliberate and thoughtful in making this very important decision which will affect four people's lives forever.

So, dear friends and family, I believe there will be every reason to celebrate. However, please be aware that this is not yet finalized and we do need to go through the process and we still have a monumental decision ahead of us. Please respect that we still need to go through the Paper Staffing. Over the weekend we will do some soul searching and on Monday we will deliver our decision to the agency and plan the next steps from there.

This has been a long and at times very dark and lonely journey, and I'm so grateful to have the support and love of all of you. I will definitely keep you posted as events unfold, and for all intents and purposes, it looks like I will finally be a mom!