Last night I could not get to sleep. All I could think about was Ferdinand and Isabella. My mind was racing. About the time I would drift off to sleep, my dog Lucy would start snoring really loudly or decide it was time to get up and race around the room making snorting noises. I have no idea how long I lay there, waiting for sleep.
Today I have crashed. I am convinced we will not be chosen for these children, or any children. How can I compete with these stay at home moms? When I talked to Andrea the other day, I asked her why the social worker even bothers to include working families in the Red File if they are totally committed to placing the child with a stay at home mom anyway. She said that sometimes the case worker is open to a working family, but the foster parents insist the child really needs a stay at home parent. And that makes sense to me too. I imagine that most foster families have a stay at home parent, either because they are professional foster homes, or because they are retired in many cases. And they feel the child should go to an environment similar to the one they are currently in. So OF COURSE they need a stay at home parent. C'est la vie, Tara and Dave. Que sera, sera. Suck it up and deal.
I realize that of course it is silly to get upset about an imaginary scenario that hasn't happened yet and exists solely in my head. But I can't help it. I just feel discouraged (and sleep deprived.) I'm going to keep on asking the Universe for these kids anyway, though.
On the plus side (or should I say minus?) I have lost 2.5 of the seven pounds I gained over the holidays. WOO HOO! Keep up the good work, I say! If I keep going like this, I may get up the nerve to try on THAT pair of jeans next week...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
the 2 requirements the family had that had Jesse and Maggie were Jesse has to stay in a private school (he was in one for preschool) and Maggie needs a stay at home mom, we tried every scenario to better our chances and in the end we just basically said we work and the private school is to far for us to drive to every day. We were discouraged and doubtful but you know how the story ends =)
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed stressful. Maybe try focusing on how you'll decorate their individual rooms when you're trying to fall asleep. Keep the faith... I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you two on this one!
ReplyDeleteHey there hun. Lately, I've been very much staying away from blogs, support sites, etc as I've been trying to get things figured out in my own head. But I sure am glad I popped in to see this! I'm praying...I know how easy it is to feel defeated before you've even been considered...sometimes it just feels like you can't win. But I am praying this is it for you, and that these two kiddos would be yours for keeps. Hugs, sweetie. Talk to you soon.
ReplyDelete